Octomum dropping bombs: not good

Geez Louise.

We haven't heard much from Octomum lately but she's back in full force on two fronts 1) admitting to Us mag that she lost all 145 pounds of baby weight 'for the money' and also saying that she's not ruling out another baby in the future and 2) showing up on The View acting crazy like she hadn't taken her meds. She's so hyper on the show that Whoopi Goldberg asked: “Do you understand that some people think… maybe you’re not quite all there?” The audience applauded.

“I love your question,” Suleman responded.

OMG!

Leather leggings, maternity unitards and stilettos OH MY.

Okay so as many of you know, following in the footsteps of Nicole Richie, Heidi Klum is doing a maternity line for A Pea in the Pod called Lavish. Now, Klum was quoted recently in Us mag as saying that her pieces would be a bit edgier and she was including, among other things, leather pants and glitter tops. But seriously, while I'm all for looking stylin hot when you are preggers, can you seriously envision yourself wearing LEATHER LEGGINGS when you are knocked up?! Or what's worse, could you picture yourself wearing a maternity unitard? I mean it's like if you don't have an absolutely flawless figure without an ounce of fat on you, how on earth could you possibly wear either of these pieces? And by the same token, leggings/leotards DO NOT (I repeat, DO NOT) qualify as being fully attired. Leggins are not trousers, by any stretch of the imagination. Leotards cannot replace tops/dresses without some kind of bottoms. So if you stay with me and my logic, a unitard is not a suitable replacement for a top and trousers. In fact, I'm not sure a unitard should be seen anywhere outside of a dance performance, and even then I think we're skating a fine line between 'too much information' and camel toe.

I rest my case.

EPIC FAIL.

Keep the egg timers in the kitchen

As if there aren't enough women in their mid-late 30s with a biological clock the size of Big Ben....

And now we have something called the 'egg timer', a simple blood test provided by IVF Australia that will allow women to know just how fast their biological clocks are ticking....for $65 you can find out how many eggs you have left...

"I think this is a big step forward," medical director of IVF Australia, Assistant Professor Peter Illingworth, told The Sunday Mail.

"For a woman who is facing decisions about how active they should get about chasing her fertility in one way or another, it's information about what the future may hold for her.

"For a 30-year-old woman, it gives her an idea of whether she's at risk of having an early menopause or she's got plenty of time to carry on and have a baby."

I'm not impressed..or at least I'm of two minds about this. For women who have been struggling with infertility, knowing exactly what kind of situation you are facing in trying to get pregnant can be extremely useful. What worries me is that this sort of 'fertility alarm' only contributes to the cautionary tales fed to women at increasingly earlier ages about having children (which perhaps coincidentally comes at a time when more women are being educated and are working in the paid workforce than any other time in history).

Researchers say that this test relieves women of the 'anguish' of 'uncertainty'. Yet, isn't this what reproduction is fundamentally about? Lots of social commentators have been banging on about how this tests gives women 'choices'. Well, as you all know, 'choice' for me, is a big yay. But, on the other hand, what kind of 'choice' is this really? You either get pregnant because you are 'running out of time' or you have to live with the knowledge that your clock is ticking sooner than you may be ready to shut it off. I think it's a loaded 'choice' and puts a lot of pressure on women who are already feeling it without having a test tell them they are getting older.

Chiarakruza lands at Target!

Guess who's landing at Target stores on 15 Feb?

That's right. Chiarakruza, maternity designer to all the celebs. This is the first time that Target is branching off from Liz Lange (the doyenne of celeb maternity fashion).

So hurry up and get knocked up because these pieces will be going fast!

Kendra does Ok! (again), debuts post-baby bod

Okay so I have a few things to say:

1) Surprise, surprise. Kendra is on the cover of Ok! again. I think she must be on contract with them.

2) ALLEGEDLY, she's lost 25lbs in 8 wks (that is, she gave birth 8 WEEKS AGO) after gaining 55lbs during her pregnancy AND having a caesarean.

How has she done it?

Kendra says she’s doing “45 minutes of hardcore training and weightlifting” followed by running and walking on a treadmill until she’s tired.

How has she really done it?
Crash dieting and ridiculous eating regimens (or perhaps by eating regimens I should say not-eating regimens). Everyone knows that you're supposed to wait about 6 wks post-caesar before exercising, which she clearly hasn't done. And hello? What about breastfeeding? If in fact, she is breastfeeding, losing that much weight so quickly can't be good.

Is anyone else sick of this? FOR REALS. I haven't even had a flipping baby and already I'm feeling the pressure.

Say bye bye to bras?

OMG. So I went to Phuket, Thailand in 2008 for a story that I writing for a magazine here in Melbourne. I watched some Aussie mums have post-baby breast implants and, let me tell you, it looked pretty gosh darn painful.

Apparently, there's a new surgery using Breform which is a breast enhancement that functions like a sports bra under the skin or as the manufacturer says it's an 'internal bra system' (yikes, a 'system'...sounds like a machine from the future). The benefit of this new technology is that it prevents the skin from stretching or sagging unlike traditional implant surgery. The Breform is made of a special mesh which, upon being placed underneath the skin, will over time become incorporated into the breast tissue.

The Breform has been licensed in Europe but the USFDA says it will be about 10 years before Breform is approved; it needs to undergo lots of testing but preliminary studies show that it's pretty safe thus far. In spite of the good results, some experts are concerned that the Breform will be dangerous or present a cancer risk for pregnant or breastfeeding women whose breasts might outgrow the internal bra.

Hmm. Impants that leak or mesh that you can potentially outgrow? Can you think of anything worse?

Photo credit: www.Breform.com

Feeding tops that are fabulous

Stop what you're doing.

I just found a breastfeeding top with FLUTTER SLEEVES.

Oh so stylish, not too expensive and with hidden slits for easy feeds.

In a word, awesome.

Duggars need to invest in the Pill

So this week in People, the Duggars are back and talking about the 'emotional' birth of their 19th child (as I type this, my heart stops for a minute...NINETEENTH CHILD! O.M.G.). Born at just 25 weeks, this latest addition, Josie, was so premature she now is suffering from a cascade of health problems.

What kills me is that in spite of the fact that this little baby has been teetering on the brink of death and considering Michelle herself suffered from preeclampsia in this pregnancy, the Duggars are still going on about how Josie isn't necessarily going to be their last child. According to People:

"[The Duggars] remain committed to their belief that "each child is a gift from God" and are open to having more. Michelle knows how their position is likely to be viewed, particularly following Josie's arrival. "When I say we would love more children, we open ourselves up for attack," she admits.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Aside from the fact that having 19 children is insane (I'm sorry, it is. End of story). All of the stories written about her bang on about her being a 'miracle baby' yet no one has even bother to question the mental health of a couple who would potentially risk the life of another child in this way. I mean how selfish can you be? And while all of us are reeling and even a little giddy with the prospect of the Duggars becoming parents to a 20th, no one seems to even care about the fact that Baby Josie is barely hanging on to life in a bad way.

19 children = EPIC FAIL.

Tips for young players

Gisele Bundchen: if you're out there, read this.

Seriously, you've been a mum for 5 minutes. Just because your birth was 'painless' and you supposedly didn't gain any weight during your pregnancy and your baby is a 'little angel' doesn't mean you have to be so smug. We know you're a supermodel, you have shiny hair and you get paid to put your clothes on (and ironically, more often to take them off).

Motherhood is not a competition.