Gwyneth Paltrow needs dose of reality

Once again Gwyneth Paltrow confirms just how out of touch with reality she really is. In response to a GOOP reader's query about combining a successful career with motherhood, Paltrow's answer is simple: a $2,300 coffeemaker, a personal trainer, and an assistant.

Duggars need to invest in the Pill

So this week in People, the Duggars are back and talking about the 'emotional' birth of their 19th child (as I type this, my heart stops for a minute...NINETEENTH CHILD! O.M.G.). Born at just 25 weeks, this latest addition, Josie, was so premature she now is suffering from a cascade of health problems.

What kills me is that in spite of the fact that this little baby has been teetering on the brink of death and considering Michelle herself suffered from preeclampsia in this pregnancy, the Duggars are still going on about how Josie isn't necessarily going to be their last child. According to People:

"[The Duggars] remain committed to their belief that "each child is a gift from God" and are open to having more. Michelle knows how their position is likely to be viewed, particularly following Josie's arrival. "When I say we would love more children, we open ourselves up for attack," she admits.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Aside from the fact that having 19 children is insane (I'm sorry, it is. End of story). All of the stories written about her bang on about her being a 'miracle baby' yet no one has even bother to question the mental health of a couple who would potentially risk the life of another child in this way. I mean how selfish can you be? And while all of us are reeling and even a little giddy with the prospect of the Duggars becoming parents to a 20th, no one seems to even care about the fact that Baby Josie is barely hanging on to life in a bad way.

19 children = EPIC FAIL.

Breastfeeding baby doll

Oh man. Goodbye Barbie, Hello 'Glutton Baby' (Bebe Gloton, in Spanish).

Now it's no longer good enough for children to pretend to play house with a baby doll: children can now have a doll that they can breastfeed (and I assume this is targeted at little girls). The child wears a bra-like halter-top with daisies over the nipple area. When the doll is lifted to the flowers, it makes a suckling motion and sound.

Um...I don't know...The doll is supposed to spread the message that breastfeeding is natural...I can't help thinking that the daisies on the halter top look like pasties.

Mums penalised in the workplace

It's no secret that being a mum is hard work. According to new research from Cornell University, being a mum is literally hard when it comes the paid workforce. A survey of women shows that the wage gap between mothers and childless women is actually larger than the wage gap between women and men...and it's a big one: $11,000

Using fake resumes for two equally qualified candidates–one childless, one a mum—the researchers found that the mother was 100% less likely to be hired when she applied for a position. Mothers were consistently ranked as less competent and less committed than childless women.

On the other hand, fathers got higher ratings than childless men. The researchers used more fake resumes to apply for 638 jobs over 18-months. Childless women got 2.1 times as many interview requests as mothers with similar credentials. There was no difference among fathers and childless men, however.

Researcher Shelley Correll is not surprised by the findings:

"I was not surprised to find that mothers were discriminated against, but I was very surprised by the magnitude of the discrimination. With gender or race, we often talk about the subtle ways that stereotypes are disadvantaging. With mothers, the effects were huge, such as being about 100% less likely to be recommended for hire than childless women and being offered much lower starting salaries."

What do you think? Have you experienced such discrimination?

Tori, you should be ashamed of yourself.

I thought my worst nightmare was the Peekaru. I think I'll take that back and instead say that the thought of Tori Spelling as a 'bestselling author' is far more frightening. Nevertheless, NoTORIous Spelling's new book is called Mommywood and I've just read an excerpt and it ain't pretty. In what I think is supposed to be cute, funny sTORItelling about the trials and tribulations of being a celeb mum, is actually a self-indulgent, slightly appalling rant about having an ultrasound and thinking her baby's nose was too big in the 3D images:

"Inside my head I was screaming, Oh my God, does he have a huge nose? Just tell me! but I was having trouble asking it directly. I knew it was wrong to care, but I did. So I tried to put it as delicately as I could: “Does his nose look . . . normal?” The doctor nodded. “Of course, of course,” he muttered. Hmm. That still wasn’t really satisfying".

Thankfully, Tori's other half Dean called her on being shallow but Tori puts it down to having to live with unrealistic expectations as a Hollywood mum:

"Hollywood is a glittering, glamorous, superficial land of dreamers, wannabes, and stars. Mommywood takes place on the same set—the palm trees and eternal sunshine of Los Angeles."

Um no, Tor. You actually are just shallow and you are dumb enough to confirm it by putting it in print.

I love one readers review of the book on Amazon:

"What a rip-off. I wanted to know about kids, and all I learned about is that she loves to be photographed, have her kids photographed, sell images of her kids, be self-important, insult people and be in never-never land. The stuff about her mother is such old news. Pick up the phone, Tori. Call her. She shouldn't have to call your nanny. So much ego, so little substance. She said she wanted a "normal" family, and then parades her kids before the paparazzi to get attention for her tv show. Enough."

There you have it.

Momshells: the latest buzz in making mums feel like poo

Move over M.I.L.F., there's a new annoying term for mummy hotness that neither rolls off the tongue or feel remotely 'empowering': MOMSHELL (as in bombshell, but with mums).

“There’s never been a hotter time to be a mom,” Jessica Denay said. A mother in Los Angeles, she wrote “The Hot Moms Handbook" and founded The Hot Moms Club, a place where women are supposed to be 'empowered' (a highly overused term that annoys me) by wearing t-shirts that say motherhood is sexy.

According to Denay, being a momshell is about working up to doing their hair and putting on a pair of stylish jeans instead of sweats, or taking a yoga class. The idea is that a mom will gain energy and confidence that she can give back to her kids —- “and that,” Denay said, “is hot.”

Do I have to even go there? As if a 2 year old cares if mum is wearing her Sevens or a pair of holey track pants. Rather than making the strange leap in judgement that women who dont dress up and do their hair are less than hot mums, why not spend some time worrying about the increasingly globalised culture that tells women (whether they are mothers or not) that they must be hot and thin or else they are worth nothing.

Source: Momshells, beauty alone doesn't define hotness

True Confessions

Ever feel like a 'bad' mother? Too embarrassed to tell your friends that you hate your toddler sometimes or that you occasionally lock yourself in the bathroom just to get away from it all? Well, looks like you're not alone. One Los-Angeles mum has started a website called True Confessions (and now just released as a book) where mummy (and anyone else) can tell her 'secrets' freely without the assurance of complete anonymity and a support group of thousands. The site has sections for secrets about bodies/dieting, the office, wives, brides, singles and even a whole section for military wives. Some of the confessions from the body site are hopeful but some are also heartbreaking:

"I had a baby 3 mo ago and i hate my body stretch marks,fat rolls, nothing fits and i don't want to spend money on fat cloths [sic]."

"Good Bye 30 pounds. I will not miss you when you are gone... but I will enjoy the memories we shared."

"I hate that I constantly compare myself to other women. It doesn't nothing but make me feel worse about myself. I am 5ft.3 and weigh 140 pounds. I've had two kids and hate the damage inflicted as a result of pregnancy. I do my best to eat right (I don't eat Twinkies and wash it down with Coke), I exercise when I can, and am even considering plastic surgery. I just hate how I look and know that I need to change my attitude. I will be devastated if I pass this on to my daughters. I just want to feel as beautiful as people tell me I am."

What are your motherhood confessions?

Feel free to post them in the comments section anonymously.

Is breast best?

Bold piece on the the case AGAINST breastfeeding in The Atlantic this month:

"In certain overachieving circles, breast-feeding is no longer a choice—it’s a no-exceptions requirement, the ultimate badge of responsible parenting. Yet the actual health benefits of breast-feeding are surprisingly thin, far thinner than most popular literature indicates. Is breast-feeding right for every family? Or is it this generation’s vacuum cleaner—an instrument of misery that mostly just keeps women down?"

Don't agree with this woman's argument at all but she's ballsy for putting it out there and acknowledging that breastfeeding is not easy and does not come 'naturally' to all women....

Thoughts?

The myth of the maternal instinct

A University of Warwick study suggests that many women feel ill-equipped for pregnancy and childbirth because of the demands of modern life and more specifically, because it is now routine for women to move away from their hometowns and families when they get married. Thus, women have less support and advice from female relatives in their new environment. Upon interviewing 90 women, Dr Angela Davis, Leverhulme Research Fellow in the Centre for the History of Medicine, also added that most women are in some ways disadvantaged going into childbirth because they often have never had the experience of birth (in terms of seeing one and participating in delivery) until they have their own children. Interestingly, Dr. Davis believes that there is still a lack of appropriate education for women around sex and parenting and this is a long-standing problem since the 1930s in the UK. One of the most salient points to arise from this study is that mothering is not viewed to be instinctive and that women struggle with feelings of unpreparedness.

Did you feel prepared for motherhood? Is there such a thing as a maternal instinct?

Source: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090302120104.htm

Eye-catching campaign promotes public breastfeeding

This is quite possibly the coolest breastfeeding campaign I've seen in a long time. The Marin Breastfeeding Coalition (MBC) is putting up life-size cardboard cutouts of women breastfeeding around the North Bay in order to promote and encourage the acceptance of mothers feeding their babies in public. Each of the cut-outs has a sign that reads, "When breastfeeding is accepted, it won’t be noticed."

Now, I think this is a fantastic way to draw attention to the benefits of breast milk. On the other hand, the statement on the sign is a little problematic for me. I can appreciate that the MBC is trying to make people give a second-thought to preconceptions about public breastfeeding. But will it ever be possible to stop people from gawking at exposed breasts? Can we ever subtract associations with sex from breasts? Or can we reasonably expect that other people will not be genuinely interested and curious to look at a woman feeding a child?

Sources:
http://www.co.marin.ca.us/depts/hh/main/hs/CHPS/BF/MBC.cfm
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28811794/

Reborns: dolls the new babies?

Considering my last post about text messages that remind you when to knock boots, for those women who can't be bothered with sex, pregnancy, birth or losing weight postpartum, one enterprising company has created the product for you.

Enter Reborn Baby Dolls, dolls that are 'made to look and feel like real babies'.

Uh huh.

"To add extra realism some babies have:
Beating Hearts, Breathing Mechanisms, Magnetic Pacifier / Dummy, Magnetic hair bows, belly plates, clothing and more...."

The scary thing? Some women treat these dolls like real babies. They talk to them, change their nappies, and some even have birthday parties for the dolls (plastic) and invite real (human) people over. A fake party with fake friends for your fake baby.

According to the ABC website, Linda says she feels like a mom now that she has reborns.

"I take them out to the park, if I'm walking the dog, and maybe put it in its stroller, or put it in its sling, or hold it in a blanket, and people do think it's real."

She even buys her dolls real baby clothes.

What bothers me about this is that buying a doll that has no way of reciprocating emotion or being sick or grumpy only gives women the 'good' bits about 'motherhood': a commodified, highly santised version of looking after a newborn. Moreover, the babies never grow up.

Owner of 36 dolls, Lachelle Moore said that she still feels the need for babies who'll never grow up.

"What's so wonderful about reborns is that they're forever babies," she said. "They don't give you any trouble. There's no college tuition, no dirty diapers. … Just the good part of motherhood."

Linda says it's better than having a "crazy habit" such as "drinking, or something that's going to hurt you."

I hate to be judgemental but I think girlfriend has had a few cups of crazy if she thinks that a doll is any substitution for a 'real' baby.

Source: http://www.stillmomentsnursery.com/store/page_3.html
http://jezebel.com/5122258/women-living-with-fake-baby-dolls-treat-them-like-real-children
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=6517455&page=1

Follow celebrity parenting styles in new book

As if People magazine hadn't elevated celebrity motherhood to a new stratosphere of cultural importance, a new book slated for release in March 2009 claims to provide its readers with the inside secrets of Hollywood pregnancy. Entitled The Black Book of Hollywood Pregnancy Secrets, the authors interviewed a number of celeb mums including Angelina Jolie, Kate Hudson,Tina Fey and Katie Holmes about 'real' celebrity motherhood (whatever that is). While the thought of having an even closer look inside the uteruses of America's most famous mothers (and considering my book about celeb pregnancy will be much better....*hiss*!), I did find one great tidbit from Helena Bonham Carter, 42, an actress known more for her sartorial mishaps than her stellar parenting skills. Upon being chastised by a stranger for drinking coffee she said to the man:

"You try nine months of gestation and self-abnegation before you start censoring my diet. Your mother was probably on vodka, and do you have three heads?"

Sources: http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7013492495
http://tinyurl.com/737bgk

Pregnancy = career suicide?

Poor Lindsay Davenport. Following the happy news of a second pregnancy, the sports media has gone into overdrive claiming that by 'pulling out' of the upcoming Australian Open, the American tennis star's career is ultimately over.

Considering Davenport and many other female athletes like Paula Radcliffe and Jana Rawlinson have taken their careers to new heights following pregnancy and motherhood, it seems unbelievable that such antiquated views of the 'ravages of motherhood' continue to inflect mainstream representations of female sporting heroes.

If anything, at the young age of 32, Davenport will be a proud mother of two and continue her legacy as an American tennis great.

Who says that pregnancy has to be career suicide?

Source: http://edition.cnn.com/2008/SPORT/12/18/tennis.davenport/

Minnie Driver: mother

Minnie Driver gave birth on Friday to a baby boy, Henry Story Driver, in LA. The world can continue to turn.

Source: http://tinyurl.com/5jbcc6

Gwen: on the brink of birth

In case you were wondering, Gwen Stefani is still pregnant.....

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1042088/Ready-pop-Heavily-pregnant-Gwen-Stefani-does-minute-shopping-baby.html

Breast milk jewelry?

Yes, you did read that title correctly. JEWELRY. MADE. OF. BREAST. MILK.

A French design collective, Duende, is displaying a collection of objects that explore the sharing of food between mother and child in France in September.

Objects will include containers for burying the placenta, tableware for the ritual of eating the placenta and conceptual jewellery that could be made from the mother’s breast milk.

The 'milk pearl' shown above is made from solidified casein, the protein in animal/human breast milk. According to the designers:

"The ‘Perle de lait’ range of jewellery imagines a new set of personalized post-natal objects. The breast-feeding mother sends a feeding bottle full of her milk to a laboratory where it is transformed into a gem-like substance that can be mounted on a neck-piece or any other form of jewellery."

The objects in the collection are evocative and beautiful:

http://www.dezeen.com/2008/07/02/la-part-des-anges-by-duende/

Gwyn Paltrow: off the list!

Oh man. Gwyneth used to be on my 'celebrities who appear to be down-to-earth' list until I caught a preview of the latest issue of American Bazaar on my favourite fem/media website Jezebel. Anyway, in a feature on 'Beauty at Every Age', the normally self-deprecating mum of two is quoted as saying in the photo above:

"I don't want to look like a mother who doesn't care."

Well Gwyn, the mothers of the world out there who 'don't care' about how they look would like to clear a few things up:

How many stylists did it take to get you all spruced up for this photo shoot? Do you normally wear 5 inch stilettos when you are playing with your kids? Since when did sequins become daywear?

And another thing. I assume you also normally wear trousers because, girlfriend, that is not a dress.

I vaguely remember you mentioning that in order to look like that (you know, like you care) you spent hours and hours with Madonna's trainer kicking your arse into gear before your last movie, Iron Man, premiered. I think you also mentioned how you had to start 'listening to your body' because living on macrobiotic food isn't fun for anyone.

So Gwyn. Here's the thing. You're a hypocrite. You complain about celebrities being held to unreasonable standards as mothers (especially when it comes to the size of your bodies) and yet, you have, in one linguistic sting, merely reinforced that same awful proposition that mothers are only 'good' enough when they look fabulous at all costs. Kids don't care what outfits their mothers are wearing.

Sequins or tracky-daks, mate, it's love that counts.

Source: http://jezebel.com/397464/40-pages-of-harpers-bazaar-may-spell-the-death-of-all-journalism

Happy Mother's Day

Depending on what part of the world you live in, it is (or recently was) Mother's Day. First order of business: Happy Mother's Day (especially to the new mums!). Next, there are some fantastic 'secrets' on PostSecret this week in honour of this special day we think about mothers/motherhood. A few great ones about pregnant/post-pregnant body image...For those of you that aren't in the know, PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

Check them out: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Gwyneth Patrow speaks out about PND

Us magazine reports that Lady Paltrow revelas in the May edition of Vogue, following the birth of her second child Moses, she suffered postnatal depression but didn't even realise it at the time.

"I felt really out of my body," Paltrow says after giving birth. "I felt really disconnected. I felt really down ... I felt pessimistic.”

It's so refreshing to hear that celebrities are indeed, 'real' women, and they do experience the same things that everyone else does. We like to think that fame and fortune make life ridiculously easy but the truth is none of that can shield mothers from PND.

Source:http://www.usmagazine.com/gwyneth-paltrow-i-battled-post-partum-depression

J.Lo babies revealed

If you've been eagerly anticipating a glimpse at J.Lo's twin babies, prepare yourself. On Thursday, People magazine will reveal the new mum and her babies on the cover along with inside info on how J.Lo is managing as a mother.

People editor, Peter Casto, says that J.Lo gained 45 to 50 pounds during her pregnancy but that she doesn't mind the weight gain at all (hmm...not so sure about that):

"She wanted to do that because she had twins and she wanted to get those twins big. And they were almost 6 pounds when they were born. And right now, yes, she's lost a lot of the weight, but she is no rush to lose all of it. She is enjoying motherhood and that is what she is concentrating on".

And apparently, even though the couple has 2 baby nurses, 'they do alot of the work themselves'.

Source: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20185171,00.html

http://www.people.com/people/jennifer_lopez/photos/0,,,00.html