I think it's really important to let women speak on this blog in their own voices, so I'm posting an email I received from one woman who agrees with the new guidelines regarding the importance of mantaining a healthy weight in pregnancy and not overindulging. Feel free to respond with your own stories, thoughts and opinions.
"At nine months of pregnancy I weighed 117 pounds. I do not think pregnancy is a time for indulgence. I was never more disciplined than during my pregnancy. I think that ideally pregnant women should not eat fatty, junky, or processed food, every bite should be nutritious, every meal and snack proportioned healthily and not for a manatee. Of course, there's no such thing as perfection so every once and a while everyone is going to have a treat, but it's so important not to go overboard. Pregnancy with a single child normally only requires about 200 extra calories a day (like a handful of almonds or large banana). And exercise is so important. Being pregnant is like being told that in 9 months you'll be running a marathon, and the prize is a child that you'll love more than you ever imagined possible. I wanted a safe labor and birth for the benefit of both me and my child and did yoga and Pilates regularly and walked at least a couple miles a day. One day before my due date I went into labor. Labored for 6 hours, pushed for 15 minutes (receiving no IV, no epidural, or drugs of any kind), and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who was 20 inches long (51cm) and weighed 6 pounds and 15 ounces (about 3kg). Her pediatrician couldn't believe her APGAR score. She said it was the highest she'd ever seen. And because of the good health of both me and my baby, we were sent home early by approval of the doctor."
"I returned to my flat-stomached pre-pregnant size in about 5 days post-birth. My daughter will be a year old in a few days and I am still breastfeeding and making sure I eat nutritiously. Both my daughter and I are very active and love to play. She crawled at 5 months and took her first step at 8 1/2 months. She's running now and definitely gives me a daily workout. It's more important to me than ever to stay fit and not carry any extra weight because I need all the fitness and energy to keep up with her and have fun together** It's definitely possible for the average woman to be thin, attractive, and a mother (I have only one child but I know mothers of two, three, six, and seven that are thinner than I am). I'm a stay-at-home mom and wife and have no personal trainer or any of that stuff."
You can download the report from the Institude of Medicine about weight gain in pregnancy:
11 comments:
Not everyone experiences the same conditions during pregnancy and when certain people, whether they be celebrities or self-appointed thin-spinners, start to dictate to others their ideas for the perfect pregnancy, labour, baby, and (most importantly) post-baby body...well it's no wonder people can't get along. When we think of people that did or are doing the most for humanity (I'm thinking Mother Tereasa, Nelson Mandela) I don't think they're recognized for their thinness. In other words, worshipping your own thinness seems very small to me. Someone else can comment on your ridiculous pride in achieving a flat stomach five days after giving birth. That sounds physically and mentally unhealthy and I wouldn't brag about it.
I too walked and did pilates through out both my pregnancies - also ate myself silly, and refused to get on the scales! But my babies only had apgars of 9 and 9...should I have eaten less so they could achieve perfect 10's! Oh God and son number 1 never crawled, and son number 2 certainly isn't making any moves towards it at 8 months - and all this is related to what I ate in pregnancy!
Try telling my baby that pregnancy is no time for junk food! For weeks and weeks he would have me throw up everything except for salty chips! So what was I to do? Give up eating all together? Or eat what inferior foods I could keep down? I'll take my orders from my body and my baby, thank-you very much.
It's funny that I should receive such scathing comments from women looking for acceptance for their pregnancy size. My point was that I fine-tuned my habits during pregnancy (and nursing) for the HEALTH OF MY BABY and hated receiving comments that I was "denying my baby nourishment" and such just because I was thin. I also wanted to point out that I'm tired of people looking at celebrities and making snide remarks like "Well I'd look like that too if I had five nannies and a personal trainer." Because I understand that that isn't necessary, especially if you are naturally small, as many of those actresses are. The comment I received here about my flat stomach being "mentally and physically unhealthy" is cruel and baseless, and sounds exactly like the scathing, perhaps jealous comments from other women (and men) who questioned the fact that I was small and pregnant. I ate when hungry, stopped when I was full. And always felt great (except when people insulted me as they have done here). Not to mention that I'm Asian, very petite, and have always been active in dance, gymnastics, and figure skating. I guess that's physically and mentally unhealthy, too. And about that flat tummy in five days, my point is that it's OK to be thin, and OK to bounce back, as long as you and your baby are healthy. Which my daughter and I obviously are.I thought it was a good point to make considering many people seem to think the only people whose bodies are unaffected by pregnancy are selfish/rich moms who starve their babies and then leave them with a nanny so they can exercise more weight off. It is very hypocritical to talk about pressure and pregnancy and turn around and pressure people to GAIN weight. You have nearly driven me to tears in disappointment. I wasn't trying to be Mother Teresa or Nelson Mandela. I was trying to be me, as healthy as I could manage, trying my best to ensure the safety of my child and myself. If that is being "small" then I am sorry, but I can't help it if I'm a small person, before, pregnant, and happily ever after.
You first two are idiots. You are obviously missing the whole point of this story. She's just mentioned that she had a flat stomach to show that the way she treated her pregnancy had positive results. She also mentioned that she did all this so her child would be healthy. It sounds like you two may be somewhat jealous that someone can be the best that they can during their pregnancy and have very good results. Next time you post your ideas on someone's story make sure you read the whole thing and make a post that makes sense. There are people like Jesus and Ghandi who have died for good causes... wait that's completely irrelevant to this post. I'm going to go do something for the benefit of my children's health so I can be skinny. Idiots...
Addressing second "anonymous", I'm sorry you take every opinion and theory as "orders". The phrase "I think" connotes a sense of OPINION. I did not say "The ideal pregnancy IS..." This was my PERSONAL story, experience, and opinion. I e-mailed it to Ms. Meredith, who I believe runs this site, and she asked if she could post it. I agreed, knowing that everyone's opinions, experience, and conditions are different, but not knowing those differing in opinion would be so rude. Was I mistaken to think that every human being has the right to think freely? I think anyone personally offended by someone else's positive experience must either be insecure in themselves or just mean-spirited. Most on this site are loving devoted parents, so I assume that even those who commented so nastily here must also have much love in their hearts. And I wonder if upon meeting me face to face, they would treat me like this. I can't even believe the irrelevancy of some of the comments. Even though I think it obvious that I described my daughter's developing motor skills as further proof of her good health, Louise seems to think this is an accusation against her because the time period of her children's developmental milestones differ from mine. Where are you people pulling these things from? I simply should have stated THESIS: I have this view of my pregnancy - I need to be healthy as I can be and hope she develops safely. I need to be in good physical form because labor is hard work and I want to do a good job giving birth to my child. That said, I did the best I could (yes I couldn't always eat perfectly/exercise when I had morning sickness, yes occasionally I wanted a treat), but over all I did my best. I was overjoyed with the uncomplicated birth of my healthy daughter (I wanted to prevent the C-section some thought I would have to have being so petite, under 5 feet tall). Not to mention that diabetes runs in my family on both sides and my blood sugar was still slightly high despite my healthy diet (thankfully not enough to do harm).
And the reason I wanted to say that my stomach was soon flat was mostly because lots of people think that's impossible without a tummy tuck or something, and I'm just saying that it can happen naturally. I didn't know my stomach would be flat. I had read that it would take at least a month if not as long as a year for the body to completely return to normal and had nothing but my smaller pregnancy clothes to wear thinking that that was all I would need for at least another few weeks. I left the hospital looking all baggy and poorly fitted, this was not intentional; It just was. I'm glad I didn't mention that I had no stretch marks because the first anonymous may have thought that was as physically and mentally unhealthy as my flat stomach. I think it strange that I could probably get more support here if my story was "I have a thousand stretch marks and my pregnancy staple was pickles and icecream" than "I ate healthy and exercised".
I have been thinking of this story since I read it and so decided to write, since it keeps coming to mind.
I am currently 7 mo pregnant with my first. I also operate a maternity & post natal shop and every day, interact almost exclusively with pregnant and post pregnancy women.
I have yet to have a woman tell me her pregnancy story and be able to say "wow, that is exactly like another story I have heard."
Every single pregnancy is different between women, and, between babies for each woman. Everyone needs to make the best choices they can for themselves and not judge or condemn others, and, should not hold themselves up as the perfectly pregnant participant. There is enough judgment to give and take with respect to raising children - save it for later on. :)
Having said that, I have observed that some women do truly approach pregnancy as a opportunity to (a) overindulge in food consumption and (b) underindulge in exercise.
I have personally had women say to me "eat what you want, it's the only time you can do this" and "never mind the bowl if you want ice cream" and "you'll never get your body back so why bother exercising" etc.
This doesn't mean that one woman's food choices/portion sizes, or type/amount of exercise should be prescribed and exactly metered out as "what I did" vs "what you did". This type of competitive environment is very negative and affects all.
As for stretch marks, I have had clients who put very little weight on and who still look like a road map. Predisposition to stretch marks is largely genetic. You can stay hydrated, from the inside and out, and try to moderate with continual weight gain, but ultimately it's like aging, there's only so much you can do.
Regarding labour and delivery (bearing in mind I am not a medical person), again, we have had clients who are physically framed L - Xl, plus put on 60 lbs, and have a 6 lb C-section baby. We have had clients who are XS, put on 20 lbs, and have a 9 lb baby vaginally. AND we have had the opposite, and every possible conceivable combination (sorry about all the bad puns). Each woman has to make her own choices leading up to labour & delivery but, ultimately many times, biology makes the decision for you, irrespective of how you have/haven't prepared.
While my first response to the original post was that it was a tad self-congratulatory, I also try to remember that sometimes written communications set a certain TONE that is actually difficult to truly interpret clearly. Re-reading the post without that judgment in my head, I thought how great it is to be able to hear how positive pregnancy and birthing can be. More positivity in this regard will only continue to uplift all moms, and moms to be!!
One thing is clear to me, pregnancy is a heightened time of judgment of women. Since becoming pregnant it amazes me how visible I have become, but in a bad way, I have become an object of criticism.
If I experience morning sickness it's because I'm deliberately refusing to eat healthily, or I'm too stupid to know what healthy food is.
Most conversations with friends and family at some point arrive at the topic of whether or not I'm hydrated enough. I find it incredibly patronising!
As I said on my own blog most mothers who speak to me want to tell me all about their experiences, and while I'm all for hearing about women's experiences, I am sick to death of every mother on the planet declaring herself an expert on my body, my baby, and my experience of pregnancy and childbirth! So I understand completely why this blog entry got the reaction it did from the first three commenters. It does read like another sermon from the church of some other mother knows better than you (especially if you're a big girl).
As a pregnant woman I don't get to talk to others, I get spoken to.
Dear Bump, I'm glad you decided to write and to be open minded. I have been thinking about the tone of my story since the first criticism. I received criticisms throughout my pregnancy, mostly small ones, but they were still enough to sting me in my hormonal little rear-end. I didn't like people questioning me when in my heart I knew that my priority was making good choices daily for me and my little one. What can, I admit, come off as a congratulatory tone is relief, that my daughter and I were able to have a positive experience during the sometimes worrisome and frightening first pregnancy, and pride in the little girl who is the most beautiful thing to enter my life and who has become the center of my whole world. I would never hesitate to say (or dictate, or preach) with pride that she is the most beautiful amazing baby on the planet. But at the same time would not question another parent who said the same of her baby, because we are both right :-) In that same respect, I am not afraid to say that I am very pleased with how my pregnancy went and will remember it with love and fondness, and am glad to hear about any other woman who feels this way about her past pregnancies, regardless of how they differed from mine.
Every body and pregnancy is unique. I am 16 weeks with my second pregnancy and its been completely different than my first. I do believe labour and delivery might be helped by being fit, but it also depends on individuals natural pain tolerance and even body shape. In my prenatal class I took with my first, we were told that it isn't visible on the outside what shape our pelvic bones(i think thats the right ones)are on the inside, which greatly affects delivery. I had a good experience with delivering my first baby, even though I wasn't incredibly fit and had gained 39 lbs. I later realised a lot of my weight gained was water weight, which my body naturally seems to fluctuate more in than the average women. We are all made differently, and what works for one person may not be right for the next. By the way what I have found to be the normal recommended amount of extra calories needed in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters is at least 300 calories, not 200 as suggested in the article. The more active you are the more calories you need so don't starve yourselfs girls.
No pregnancy is not a time for indulgence in the line of "have another bowl of ice cream". No it isn't an exercise free zone. But assuming you're eating healthily and being sensibly active your weight DOES NOT MATTER. What matters is that you are nourishing the baby.
Sounds to me like a skinny bitch telling us all "you're so morally inferior to me, if you had the discipline your body would be just like mine". Frankly that is B.S. and simply makes her look like the idiot she clearly is.
My first pregnancy I lost 12kg in the first trimester due to morning sickness. I did no exercise other than hauling myself to the bathroom every 5 minutes. By the time I gave birth I'd regained the 12kg and another 4kg or so. Baby was fine.
Second pregnancy I gained 18kg gradually throughout the pregnancy and never had a day or morning sickness and stayed active throughout.
Both labors were easy. Both times I was pre-pregnancy weight by around 3 months postpartum and pre-pregnancy tone by about 6 months.
Your experience will vary. And not by our morality or moral superiority. My calculation is that 1 pushy thin tart with a superiority complex = deserving 100kg extra baggage in her moral behind next time around. This one deserves what she gets.
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