Charlotte Church finally pushed out her first baby at home whilst watching the rugby according to the Daily Mail and apparently she says the pain of birth was 'outrageous'.
Granted celeb birth stories never seem to interest me as much as pregnancy, I was particularly stunned to read that according to Charlotte's mother, Maria, the singer is planning to quit her career to concentrate on motherhood. She's only 21! Given the growing backlash against our dear Britney Spears (and don't even get me started on the 752 articles I found today ranting on about her temporary loss of custody) who everyone thinks needs to brush up on her 'bad' mothering skills, there is a growing trend for celebrities to extol the virtues of motherhood such that everything these sucessful career women have accomplished prior to pregnancy seems to pale in comparison. Now before you start getting angry, of course I think mothering is valuable, important work. I have a problem with the perception that somehow the productive and the reproductive are incompatible. Working in the paid sector is important for many women. Granted life becomes increasingly more complex whilst trying to juggle a career, family life and what I call the 'third shift' or gym sphere where mothers have to devote time to disciplining their bodies and staying in shape, even so, many women would rather deal with the struggle than give up working indefinitely.
Church's mother insists she won't hire a nanny, just to be make her seem that much more virtuous. Would anyone really care if she did outsource her care? This is the reality of middle-class motherhood in 2007. In the 'real' non-celeb world, the decision stay home is not that simple especially when living on one income is not a possibility. And of course Charlotte insists she's not worried about losing baby weight:
"I think it's sad when people get obsessed with all of that. I'm pretty happy with the way I am and I bagged Gavin so I can't be doing that badly, can I?"
I know I usually praise celebrities for not claiming not to be obsessed with dropping the baby weight, however, I feel here, Church only says this because she's too worried that people are going to think she's narcissistic for wanting to 'bounce back'. In order to seen as a 'good' mother, you're not supposed to be concerned about yourself. You must selflessly devote yourself to your baby.
'Maria told Reveal magazine: "I wouldn't be surprised if she turns her back on fame as well. She never looked for it - it found her.
"All she cares about is being a good mother. And she's doing a pretty good job so far.
"She has hung up her partying shoes for good. You won't be seeing her out on the town for a long while. And she is totally off the booze. In fact, at the moment she's not bothered about having it ever again."
"All she cares about is being a good mother. And she's doing a pretty good job so far.
"She has hung up her partying shoes for good. You won't be seeing her out on the town for a long while. And she is totally off the booze. In fact, at the moment she's not bothered about having it ever again."
Seriously. The competition to be a supermum is rubbish. Public celebrity performances of 'perfect' pregnancy and 'perfect' motherhood only make it worse for the average mum who just wants to make it through the day without killing her baby. Mothers don't have to be saints. Being a 'good' mother means alot more than giving up a glass of wine and even an entire career. Whether Charlotte Church ever actually said these things, we will never know. However, the fact that now celebrities (and indeed the average woman) has to constantly justify her behaviour as a mother is only a stark reminder of just how firmly our heads are implanted in the birth canals of other women. Women are under intense scrutiny (hello, Britney) in a never-ending web of surveillance where women as reproductive entities are now basically held responsible for the maintenance of the human race. For many women, now it's no longer, tell me about your career, your aspirations, your dreams; it's tell me all about your womb.
2 comments:
I don't see anything wrong with Charlotte Church wanting to be a good and devoted mother, if in fact, she made those statements. Women don't necessarily become stay-at-home moms to keep up good appearances, to clear guilt, or because they can afford to. Some women just WANT to be stay-at-home mothers. To some women, this IS their "career" and aspiration. Today's world is a condemning place for women. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Working mothers feel guilty and less-than-motherly maintaining their career after children, while stay-at-home moms (like myself) seem to attract nagging questions about "when we're going to do something" with our lives. Will women's lives every be reasonably fair? I don't think so. Women have made their stand for us to have the opportunities we have now and are always pushing for equality and along with the benefits also comes confusion and internal conflict for women living in this new era. There is nothing we can really do to keep people from judging us. It would be nice if everyone just minded their own business and worried about their own personal lives, but is human nature really going to change?
I think it's important to consider Church's professional life thus far. Unlike most, she was a working professional since the age of twelve and therefore has had a career as long as most working mums who graduate college, get a job, and decide to stay at home and mother their babies after becoming pregnant in their 30's. I do not think she is a martyr. I think she's excited and ready to be a mum. And who knows, a woman is entitled to change her mind, as we all know. So she might decide that this is it, no more career, just motherhood. But then again, she may miss her work and return eventually. Who cares? It's her life.
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