3 months postbaby, Bachelorette star Trista Sutter wants to get down to 106 lbs and back into her size 26 Hudson jeans according to the latest issue of Us magazine.
“I’m definitely not pleased when I look in the mirror,” admits the 5-foot-2 star, who now wears a size 4 and weighs 116 pounds. “When I fit into my size 26 Hudson jeans, then I’ll be happy.”
But why 106lbs? Women like Trista Sutter have forever been burdened by the feeling that 'If only I were..two sizes smaller, was married, beautiful, taller, had a smaller nose--the list goes on and on---I would be happy'. Altering our bodies has become the only solution to (literally) fitting into the normalised feminine aesthetic that women are valued for maintaining. Fitting into size 26 jeans is not what makes women like Sutter 'happy'; women are 'happy' when they lose weight particularly after birth because it means they are able to reconnect with a former, familiar 'self' that is seemingly lost in the transition to motherhood. Body dysmorphia colonises women's ability to focus on the true sources of their problems and instead all of this anxiety is managed by controlling or disciplining the body. Particularly after birth, women have never felt more attached to their stomachs.
Sutter continues:
"My friend said that when I came home from the hospital, I’d be back in my old jeans. Fifteen pounds did fall off immediately, but the fact that it’s been three months and I’m still not in them is a bummer.”
What bothers her the most?
“My belly. It has a layer of fat, which, of course, your body has to put on, but it’s blubbery and I hate it. I want to be able to go bathing suit shopping for a vacation and not feel totally disgusted…I just don’t feel good in a lot of my clothes.”
It's amazing that women expend so much energy thinking about their stomachs. As Eve Ensler writes in The Good Body, it's our 'most serious committed relationship'. Flatness and tautness is evidence of containment, self-control and discipline. Wobbly bits are nothing less than failure. And when we start to lose sight of the world, our in Sutters's case, who she 'is', our stomach is the easiest body part to try and control.
Apparently her husband, Ryan, monitors her intake to keep her on track. This bit makes me really sad for her:
"If I eat something that I shouldn’t, Ryan shakes his finger at me and says, ‘Uh, uh, uh!’ He’s been awesome, 100 percent supportive. He watches Max when I go to the gym and is constantly saying that I look great. But when you don’t feel good about yourself, you don’t feel like you want to be intimate. I want to feel, and look, sexy again for him. Even though he is being nice and saying he’s still attracted to me, I want to feel like he’s telling me the truth and not just saying it because he’s a good husband.”
Women are 'bad' for eating things they 'shouldn't and in this case, Sutter's male partner is involved in monitoring her behaviour which only emphasises the fact that she feels out of control. I wish she could say that she wants to feel 'good' and look attractive for herself and not live up to someone else's standards. If only a woman's sense of self did not reside in her appearance, perhaps women wouldn't have to constantly be fixing their bodies. And the sad part is that women like Sutter are not pathetic or stupid for wanting to lose weight. As Susan Bordo argues, women know the routes to success in a world fixated on thinness and beauty and they are not 'dopes' to pursue them even if their personal happiness is at stake (1993: 30).
1 comment:
An interesting book to read: The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolfe
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